Which brings me to why I'm sitting here on blogger at 0700 on Wednesday July 2nd. July 2nd, for the rest of my life, will be the day I never understand, the day I never look forward to, and the day I spend the other 364 trying not to think about.
For those of you that don't really know my life, I was hurt on June 15th, 2010 in Afghanistan and my first worry was "who is going to take care of my guys?" As a medic in an infantry platoon, I lived life with those guys knowing their lives may one day be in my hands, a responsibility I took seriously. After I got hurt, I dang sure didn't want just anyone going out there to the OP, I wanted the best for my guys. Well I took comfort in Germany when LT (Lieutenant) called and told me Jeff (David Jefferson) had taken over as 3rd Platoon's Medic. Back on my first day at Ft. Campbell, a sergeant told me to follow Jeff's lead, do as he did, and don't do anything he's not. He stood out as a worker, athlete, and his personality was second to none. Fast forward 5 months, I was relieved to know he had my guys now. Well, just 17 days after I was hurt, on July 2nd, Jeff was out on patrol with 1st Squad of my old 3rd Platoon and stepped on a pressure plate IED. He fought hard, and with massive injuries made it all the way to the medevac helicopter before his body finally gave out. When I got the news back at Walter Reed, from my teary-eyes Lieutenant, I didn't think about Afghanistan, I thought about Philadelphia, PA and the wife whose world would be rocked and the 1 year old son that would never remember his Dad's face. That's when I asked God for the first time since my injury, "What are You doing?" "Why him and not me?"
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I have a good life. I even dare to call it great and not because of the material blessing, friendships I have, family I love, life experiences I have had, ministry opportunities I get to share in, or wife that is outta my league. Rather, my life is great because I know that the God of all has chosen me for very specific tasks. The big and mighty God of the universe knows the details of my life and He cares about them, everything else is second to that as a reason for life being great.
I honestly feel that way 364 days out of the year, but today, I have to faith that instead of feel it. I've stopped questioning it (why God chose David instead of me), but I still don't/won't understand it. I take heart in the fact that God knows I hurt more on July 2nd than all 364 other days combined and to comfort me, He sent me a gentlemen 4 months ago (March) that asked if I could share at his youth camp on Spiritual Battle & Fighting For God on, you guessed it, July 2nd. I almost declined, because I knew my emotional status today would be different than normal, but the tattoo on my arm (My Brothers' Keeper) reminded me there is a transcendent duty I will forever owe to the men I got to serve with. To live my life in a manner worthy of their death that allows me the opportunity to.
So what does being real look like for me, it's sitting here preparing a message for a group of teens and knowing that God is giving me that message because I need to hear it today more than any 17 year old. I need to hear that God is/has/will always be fighting for me. I need to be reminded that God is greater than this world, all of it, and that the battles I get to fight in, They Belong To Him! At that, on July 2nd, I just humbly and obediently Say Amen and continue the fight, regardless of how I feel.
Watch these two videos:
Let this one remind you of what the 2nd of July is about.
Let this one encourage you regardless of life's circumstances.
Hang Tough,
CJ
