The events of Thursday are remarkable in so many ways. For starters, I live by a code that includes the following: the state of your wife's emotional well-being is a direct reflection of the depth of your manhood. If you can love her like a man should, she can act like a woman is suppose to. Well, I won't ever consider myself to have "arrived" as a complete man, but I watched my wife handle news no woman should hear like a woman completely full of God's Grace. I know it was incredibly hard for her, but she immediately took the words "God has a purpose and plan for all things" and began to walk this journey with humility knowing I had her back.
A few weeks ago, we decided that this little girl would be named Faith. Danielle and I have both grown to new levels of maturity and understanding of God's Word and Will for our lives. We both experienced tragedy and tough times in 2010 with the loss of her father and my injury in Afghanistan. Faith during these two times both directly led to how we met and ultimately started our journey together. This journey has included many life changes and ultimate decisions involving the path we would walk. We both have ultimately decided in our own ways and together how we would serve God with our lives. These past few months have been some of the best of our lives. From getting married, honeymoon in Hawaii, summer nights on the lake, trip to Cuba, two pups, meeting a brand new group of friends in Clinton, and then finding out Dani was expecting: our life as a married couple has been a blessing and a testament to what His Love and Faith can do.
Then Thursday hit us, and honestly, what could have devastated our relationship, family, and belief system has done the exact opposite. First, I watched my wife voluntarily submit to a procedure that might have taken up to 24 hours to complete and had the potential of being very painful. Why? So she could deliver our little girl without damaging her two ounce body. We knew Faith was no longer with us, but we also knew Faith is our daughter and it is our responsibility to love and protect her. Now, in that room, I was in Danielle's corner no matter what procedure she chose, as I knew this was incredibly hard without my opinion on the matter. After she made that decision, I was by her side not knowing what would unfold.
Immediately after getting the news, we notified our immediate family (Danielle's mom was with us) as well as our close friends for Prayer and support. For those of you unsure on the actual power of prayer, the twelve hours following that dreadful news could not have been any more peaceful than they were and could not have medically unfolded any smoother than we had hoped. I told you, Dani choosing to be induced to safely deliver Faith meant we could be waiting for up to 24 hours, and it only took a little over 5 hours for our little girl to arrive.
The time Danielle and I got to spend with Faith is not only the turning point of this story, but for our lives. I have certain images in my head of key events in my life: driving the boat with my grandfather as a small boy, road trip with dad to West Point, my childhood dog Derail, Arlington National Cemetery, small Cuban kids I played with on a mission trip, my arm immediately after getting blown up, my wife walking down the aisle. These images will go with me in this world, but none will carry the weight of the remembering the time I held my daughter in my hand and prayed not for her lifeless body, but for her beautiful soul I will one day see. It was hard holding Faith, I can't deny, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Dani and I have talked, smiled, laughed, cried, and just sat and stared together as we thought about her. We have seen tangible growth in our lives from November 16th (day we found out Dani was expecting) to the time that doctor told us about Faith. It does not come close to the growth we have had since 1145 pm on February the 13th until now.
Many have wondered how we are remaining true to our beliefs and faith in the sovereign God in such a time of despair. For us, it is just the time to cling to His promises. We know one thing from the unsatisfying thoughts and experiences of this world: We Were Made For Another One! And in that time, where there is no pain, sadness, and death, that's when we will not only meet our daughter Faith, but celebrate what her life, our lives, and hopefully yours were all about: Jesus Christ.
You see, we have learned so much through our daughter's life about not only our existence here on earth, but our purpose: and that is to live and love for the Honor and Glory of God! Nothing more, nothing less! We've learned that Faith's life has pointed more people towards Christ and drawn even more, closer to His love and goodness than we could've ever hoped for in a child. Therefore, we are not sad, bitter, or even confused about the death of our daughter, because it's not about her, me, or Danielle. We are celebrating, because right now she is with Who everything is about and many are better today than they were just one week ago, including myself! So Thank You Faith, for teaching your mom and dad that Life is about perspective, and that we should always be looking up at the victory of God, instead of bowing our heads in defeat on earth. Which way is your head looking?
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